There are many reasons bloggers decide to start chronically their lives in the digital sphere. While I’ve stopped and started multiples times, I’ve been running this particular blog for over a year and a half. I look up to the OGs of the blogosphere like Feral Creature who has been blogging for 10 years now. She recently published a post about being at a crossroads in her journey and it made me stop and think about my own path.
An eternity ago, when I was in high school, I was a punk. More like a punk/goth/anime kid. And one of the staples of my wardrobe were band tees. A friend gave me a The Starting Line tee, I picked up a My Chemical Romance tee from Hot Topic, and a few of my comrades wore this popular tee to showcase their love for The Used. The guy I crushed on had long hair down his back and one of the four shirts he wore was a Led Zeppelin tee.
Somewhere along the line I retired my music merch but more and more in the past few years I’m starting to see it make a comeback in fashion and I’m more than happy to take part.
I was shaking. Sitting on the edge of this concrete ledge my body felt tight and stiff with anxiety. We were about two stories up which isn’t that high I suppose but still, every second up there felt like an eternity. I tried to calm myself because I didn’t want to let the fear show on my face.
After about a minute it was over. I had to come down. I didn’t care whether we got the shot or not. Then I looked at the camera to see the results. ‘Wow,’ I exhaled in relief, pleased to see what we’d captured.
On Monday I conceptualized the idea and did the prop styling. On Tuesday I executed the idea, including the hair, makeup, and photography. On Wednesday I did the post production to bring the most out of the images that I could. Today I am publishing it. Sharing this departure from my normal style as my 100th post. An exploration of myself as the artist, the muse, and the canvas as a way to heal.
How do you define home? Where you live now? Where you grew up? Where your family is? Or something else? Oftentimes how I interpret where home is depends on how I feel, who’s asking, or any other possible variable. My definition of home feels like it’s always changing and lately I’ve been thinking about where exactly that even is for me.
The weather has been pretty crappy lately with the last traces of winter still lagging in Toronto. Going out still requires a warm coat and tough footwear that can handle the slush, salt, and snow. On a particularly warm day my partner and I headed out to do some exploring in the city. I had come across this gorgeous graffiti wall online and was determined to find where exactly it was, quietly tucked away in the west end.
